When my twins were babies, the best way to get them to go to sleep was to swing them in their bucket car seats. I’d strap them in, pick them up, and give my arms a good work out by swaying them back and forth. It worked like a charm, and it was a trick I used often with two babies who didn’t like to sleep on the same schedule. Except for one day, when they were about four months old.
My daughter was particularly cranky so I put her in her bucket, started to swing her, and I watched in total horror as she ejected from the car seat and tumbled to the floor.
In the fog of sleepless nights and taking care of two babies, I’d totally forgotten to strap her in. Of course, I thought I’d broken my baby. Luckily, I had another one as back-up. (She was totally fine and I like to use the “It’s because I dropped you on your head” story when she’s having a teenage moment).
A couple of years later, and another baby added to the mix, I’d just given my 8 month old daughter a bath and was about to put on her diaper when I heard a panicked scream from one of the twins. I left my naked baby on the floor of her room, shut the door, and went to investigate (toddler twin biting incident) and came back to her barely a couple of minutes later to find her covered in poop. She’d used those two post-bath minutes to relieve herself, roll around in it, play with it, and, yes, taste it. I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Or gag.
There are more stories. We all have them. The ultimate parenting fails. The moments we f%^k up so royally we’re sure our parenting licenses will be revoked.
Mother’s Day is around the corner, and we want to help you celebrate the fact that your children have survived your bad parenting choices, by giving away a super fun ‘Girls’ Night Out’.
Motherhood Out Loud is a production coming to the Centaur Theatre May 19-22. The play is a compilation of scenes and monologues dealing with different and current aspects of motherhood; ranging from birth, through early childhood, adolescence, empty nest and aging parents. It covers very honest and poignant aspects that are both heartfelt and funny, relatable to all, whether a child or a parent. It touches on everyday themes as well as adoption, autism, gender identification, same sex parenting, and alzheimer’s. This play depicts, with the use of humour, the visceral emotions mothers (and fathers) experience from the moment they give birth throughout their lifetime.
Featuring local actors Helena Levitt, Claire Shamy, Tamara Richards and Steve Gillam, the show is sure to make you laugh out loud and tug at your heart strings.
We’re going to award one lucky mom four tickets, two manicures and two pedicures from Salon Bliss so you can grab your three besties and celebrate the fact that you are motherhood rock stars (despite the f&*k ups) with a little pampering, some laughs and a few tears.
Here’s how to enter:
We want to hear your stories. Tell us about your worst or best motherhood moment and why you desperately need a night out with the girls. Leave your story as a comment to this blog and the mom who moves us the most (make us laugh, make us cry, make us gag) will be awarded the prize.
The contest closes this Friday, April 22nd, so don’t forget to tell us your story below!