My little boy turned two this week and for some reason, his birthday has stirred up a big pot of emotions in me. I found myself taking a stroll down memory lane and reliving moments with a real sense of nostalgia.When my son was first born, I remember getting all kinds of unsolicited advice from people; some helpful and encouraging, some…..not so much.
It seems that one tidbit of advice kept continuously coming my way from “wiser” more “experienced” parents:
“It goes by so fast, make sure to cherish every moment!”
“Time flies, he’ll be all grown up in the blink of an eye!”
I recall feeling a bit annoyed by this advice. While in the throws of sleepless nights, colic and changing diapers every 2 minutes, I was not quite sure how to accomplish this task of relishing every moment of my son’s life.
I was consumed with being the best mom I could be, with getting it right, with making sure I didn’t screw up! I had a stack of baby development books by my bedside and constantly perused the internet wanting to know what to expect next from my little guy, making sure he was “on-track”. I often found myself reading ahead to the next chapter, attempting to be prepared for his upcoming milestones. I compared my son to other babies, wondering why he wasn’t the “smiley”, “easy” baby I envisioned having.
In retrospect, I can honestly say that I did the best I could, that I was a “good enough” mother. But now that the first-time-mommy jitters have subsided and I have some experience under my belt, I am able to recognize that I may have unintentionally rushed through things and perhaps I could have done a better job at savouring, of relishing, of appreciating my son for who he was rather than wishing for the fantasy baby I had concocted during my pregnancy.
Those wise, experienced parents were absolutely right; time really does fly by!! I cannot believe that my fussy, challenging little baby has grown into this curious, determined, funny, gentle, little boy.
So when it came time for my son to blow out his birthday candles this week, I decided to pause and bask in the moment, to really take it in, because this was a fleeting moment that I really wanted to hold onto. We blew out the candles and sang happy birthday three times. My son squealed with pleasure each time as my husband made sure to capture every moment!
I realize that I am still somewhat of a novice compared to all the veterans out there, but I can confidently say that I’ve learned several lessons during my 2 years of mommy-hood. I am going to continue to try my utmost to SLOW DOWN amidst the chaos and BE PRESENT with my son rather than constantly striving for what’s next. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for my beautiful boy, but for the moment, I am content with simply appreciating RIGHT NOW.