THE FIRST DATE

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Whether you’re a seasoned dating veteran or just recently back on the scene, first dates can be nerve wracking— especially if a spark has ignited between the two of you already.

What makes things more confusing is that everyone in your life has something to say and the advice differs from one person to the next. Your best bet is to trust your gut, be yourself and check out some of these first date tips:

Shine bright like a diamond

It’s common to put your most loveable side on display during a first date. It could be showing off your feminine demeanour or humourous ways. But the fact is, people are looking for a unique pairing; a combination of characteristics that makes you stand out from the crowd, just like a quality diamond. Don’t be scared to show off other attributes that make who you are.

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Walking sexy VS Walking sex

Of course you want to look sexy for your date but don’t be too revealing. Why should others see what should be kept for your date’s eyes only? You can easily achieve this look by choosing one body part at a time to show off, like a low cut top or a short skirt, not both.

Left and right and is the right way to go

Face to face dates are tough. There’s little room for playfulness and lots of room for awkwardness. Aim for your first date to be seated side by side. It’s easier to flirt, touch and offers a view which makes silent moments much more pleasant. Consider grabbing a bite along the bar or going for hookah.

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Playing hard to get gets you nothing at all

Attraction is everything on a first date, so acting uninterested won’t lead you anywhere but back to square one. Just like you want to know that your date is into you, they want to know the same, so don’t be scared to show you like them.

Keep your standards higher than your heels

Expressing fondness for your date is one thing, but going further than you normally would is another.

Set your personal standards high and always stick to them. Your date will respect you for it.

Photo credits: www.andthatswhyyouresingle.com, www.liveloveleslie.com and www.sheknows.com 

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7 Comments

  • I disagree with all of this advice. It mostly relates to how you look. It is foolish advice to wear a low top – what kind of advice is that. There is no mention of going slow, and ensuring that you share the same values, beliefs, views of the world, direction in life. There are so many important characteristics, and personality traits to ensure you are compatible with. Advice about dressing sexy is totally worthless.

    • Hi Laura,

      Thanks for your comment. The tone of this article is meant to be light and playful while hopefully providing some helpful first date tips. There are a number of aspects that contribute to making the most out of a first date, and if I were to have covered all of them, I would have far surpassed my 500 word limit. I don’t think every First Date article needs to cover topics like values, beliefs and views of the world. In fact, I believe first dates should be about relaxing and having fun and getting to know each other on a less personal and serious level. Would it be fair to say that such serious topics can be left for a second or even third date?

      You mentioned the advice in my article is all related to how one looks, which is entirely untrue. But just incase, I decided to read my own article over again only to find that just one of the five points has anything to do with looks and I stand by the fact that how you dress on a date is important. On that topic, my advice was not to wear a low cut top, but as an independent woman who makes a choice to dress sexy because she feels confident to do so, I simply pointed out to not over do it. And to quickly summarize, the other advice offered covers the importance of bringing out personality traits that compliment one another, a new and clever way to avoid awkward silences, not playing games like hard to get and finally staying true to yourself by not sleeping with someone on the first date.

  • I totally agree that sharing values and beliefs should be reserved for later dates only. It is quite dreary to always get down to the nitty gritty on the very first date. First off, it wastes everyone’s time if you don’t feel a spark with the person (you should sense if there is even any chemistry there between you before you confess all your beliefs and values) and secondly, it could get boring or even nasty (might even be a turn off). If the first date is a success, then those things will be better respected on future dates. Also, I quite liked the idea of paying attention to your wardrobe so that you are not giving everything all away at once—too many people go all the way, and I think this was the point Kavita was trying to make. As well, a low cut shirt or blouse does not mean you are exposing your breasts or even cleavage. It could mean that you are exposing more of your neck, which you could dress up with a nice necklace. I have a lot of lower cut tops that don’t reveal anything. Some of these tips actually seemed quite interesting (such as the side by side sitting). Thanks for the post!

    • Hi Emily,

      Thank you so much for the positive feedback!

      “If the first date is a success, then those things [values and beliefs] will be better respected on future dates”. — You couldn’t have articulated it better! I am in total agreement with that, and also that wardrobe is also important. Our style and how we carry ourselves says a lot about who we are. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts!

  • Hey,
    I quite like your post! The fact that I have been asked more than once by my gal pals the old question “what should I wear on this first date?” or “does this top scream ‘ I’m asking for it’ when all I want is to look good” goes to show that girls struggle with the clothing choices they make just as much as how to make sure the conversation never gets boring. I appreciated the lightness of the blog while it still maintained brief and helpful hints for the novice dater and some areas to look at if you find yourself in a rut after many years of dating!
    Thanks

    • Hi Robyn,

      I am happy to see you liked the post! You have got me thinking that I should focus an article on some modern DOs & DONTs of what to wear on a date! It’s a hot topic 🙂 Thanks for your comment and help in sparking some ideas for the next piece!